Grandma

So I haven’t blogged for a while for one reason, and no it’s not because I’m lame.  My grandma passed away on August 18, 2011.  I wanted to write something about her.  I didn’t want to just mention that she died because I was really close to her, but I didn’t know how to convey that.  At the luncheon after the funeral my aunt wanted everyone to write down memories that they had of her.  I thought I would e-mail her some.  Later the thought came to me that I should do the same thing for my blog.  This way I have a way of keeping her memory for my kids, and also a way of saying goodbye.  This is by no means an exhaustive list of my memories, but it is some.

When I was little grandma would watch us when my parents were out of town. One time I was in kindergarten my grandma took me to school.  I remember that I waited until my teacher wasn’t looking and I ran out the outside door and all the way to her house (she only lived a block away). I told her I didn’t want to go back to school and she didn’t make me go that day.  I got to stay with her.

I was in Special Ed in elementary school because I have dyslexia.  I got made fun of a lot.  I remember once at church a boy made fun of me and I got so upset that I got up and ran out of the classroom (are you sensing a pattern here?).  I ran down the hall and strait into my grandma literally.  I was crying really hard and my grandma asked me what was wrong.  I was so upset that she had to calm me down first then I told her what the boy said.  She marched into the classroom and asked to speak to the boy then she took us both into an empty classroom. She asked the boy his side of the story, because if you knew my grandma, she never did things without having all the information.  The boy had not explanation, so she demanded an apology from him and then gave him a good tongue lashing.  It was so nice to have someone to fight for me.

My grandma has eight children and even more grandchildren.  You can imagine that it was hard getting one on one attention with her, or feeling like you where special, but she always made me feel that way.  She is the one who taught me how to drive a stick shift, or standard car.  My dad refused to teach me after I nearly killed him.  My grandma took me out no dirt roads and had me stop and start over and over again.  After I got the hang of that she had me practice shifting up and down, going faster and slower.  At one point I came to a turn in the road and I was in 3^rd gear and didn’t want to shift down so I just took the corner going that fast.  We spun around and did a complete 360 and then the car stalled out.  I looked over at grandma and said “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry”.  She was holding on to the handle above the window and she said “that’s okay honey that’s how we learn”.  She never got mad at me. 

I have never heard my grandma yell, or even raise her voice.  She never swore, and never raised a hand to us.  The most we ever did was sat on chairs.  She made the best bread and jam ever and the best pancakes.  She always made them for us when we were at her house. 

When I was in high school I was extremely blessed to have the opportunity to work with my grandma.  She was the bookkeeper for the family business and I got to do school to work with her.  Every day I would go over to her house and she would have bread and jam for me and we would chat before we started work.  Some days we never even got to the work because we talked so much.  During that time I needed a lot of advice (who am I kidding I still do) and she was the best at giving advice.   She would roll play with me so that I was prepared for conversations with my teachers, parents, friends, or boyfriend.  I never felt judged, or immature (believe me looking back I was).   She helped me to be able to look at other people’s point of view, or see their perception of things without sounding like she was taking their side.  She helped me so much; I know I would not be the person I am without her.  

The advice she would give was always spot on.  I had a chameleon when I was in college and it ran away, really I took it out to the backyard, fell asleep and when I woke up it was gone.  I never found him.  I was really broke up about it, I remember crying to my grandma and she said “I understand you are upset, but it was not a person”.  I thought at the time she was very cold, now after having children and maturing (just a little) I realize what she meant.   There has never been a time in my life when, if I needed her advice she was not there to give it.  I will miss that so very much.

As an adult it was so much fun to be able to talk to my grandma about different things.  Whether it was about books she loved to read, and helped to foster that love in me, and all her children and grandchildren.  She was always letting me borrow books, and seeing how I liked them. We talked about plants and flowers, which we both loved.  We would talk about raising children and I will always remember one of her favorite sayings “all you can do is do the best you can with the knowledge you have at the time.”  She said it is easy to look back at the things that you did, with the knowledge you have now and realize what you did wrong, but there is nothing you can do about it.  I loved hearing her stories about my dad and aunts and uncles.  I loved hearing about her life.  I loved knowing her as a person, not just a grandma, but as a friend.

My last memory of her was two days before she died.  I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to have gotten to visit her that day.  I got to hang out with her for like 5 hours.  I have not gotten to spend that much time with her for a long time.  We talked about genealogy; the new pictures and things she had gotten from her sister. She showed me what movies she was watching on Netflix.  She did a little research to see what exactly being Basque meant.  We played with my kids.  Walked around her flower garden and named the flowers.  Then we picked weeds and raspberries and talked.  I left her adjusting the sprinkler in the garden with my grandpa. 

I am so grateful for my grandma’s life.  I am grateful for her impact on my life.  I am grateful I was able to know her and love her and know she loved me. 

This is one of the last pictures taken of my grandma, and all her "girls" my aunts. 
I stole this from my aunts blog don't be mad Auntie C.